Mid-year Feels

Oh, I don't know what to say.

Mid-year. Yeah, not quite mid-year, since it's already the end of February now. But things just happen way too fast, it feels like I can't keep up with anything at all.

Why is it February already?

Do I want to go back? Do I want to stay? Either way I have to come back on June, but I really can't tell how I feel.

My host mother told me that I will always be welcome. If I happen to enter a university in New York someday, I will always be welcome to stay at their house. My host family is so nice, I love them so much.

But how do I feel about this? Do I want to go back, as in the near future? Do I plan to go back? As a student, or a tourist, or when I've become rich with my business rolling around the world?

I just can't decide how it feels. It feels awkward to think that the exchange year almost end, but you're not quite at the end of it yet. You feel the urge to leave because you miss your old-world, but you want to stay in this newly born world, too.

Things that make me want to go back

My friends. Yeah, it's kinda mean to put them first before my own family (sorry Mom) but really, this is mainly because one of my former classmate just died two days ago. She was younger than me, and was supposed to have her 17th birthday this March. She was ran over by a truck while she was on the motorcycle with her brother driving, and she died. Just like that. It's not because of a sickness, it's not because of something we would ever think might cause her to die. Motorcycle is a transportation vehicle, not a suicidal type of thing. I ride motorcycle everyday back and forth to school. I didn't die. The news was really shocking and unbelievable. It's hard on everyone that knows her. But it mainly is hard for me because, as an exchange student, you cannot come and go to your country at will. Not to mention it would cost a lot.

In my school in Indonesia, when a student or teacher dies, everybody will come to his / her funeral regardless of it being a school day. The entire school will grieve, and the students and teachers will set out to the funeral after the first 7 o'clock bell rings. Only after that will they come back to school and continue the class. It's really sad that my friend died while I was here, and I couldn't come to her funeral together with my schoolmates and teachers. It's just way too sad. Were she a part of my family, I would have gotten a free airplane ticket back and forth to Indonesia because she is a family. In this case she is "just a friend", and of course it "has nothing to do with me". At this point I'll make it clear that I'm not blaming the exchange program at all, they do the right thing. But it's just... sad.

My family. I really didn't expect myself to ever miss my family in my exchange year, honest. I was growing tired of my own family at some point (LOL, I know it seems really teenage-typical problem-like), and even if I don't ever hate them, I just didn't think I'd miss them, either. I'm the oldest daughter of the family. I have two younger brothers, and I barely put any attention on them before I went here. It just feels awkward, since I'm the only girl and they are boys, and I just didn't know what to do or say. But when you went out of the country and do not see them for a while, you just realize that "oh my God I haven't even seen him on the eyes before I go". It feels terrible as an oldest sibling, I feel really bad. It makes you feel like you want to go back there and say, "Hey, I'm your sister, and I'm back. Let's play a game together again sometime, like when we were little."

The same goes with my mother and father. We are kinda awkward as a family, or at least that's how I see it. There aren't a lot of hugs, and things doesn't go smoothly. There are a lot of misunderstandings unsolved when I went here, makes me feel like I was running away from it by going here. When you don't see them for a while, you just kinda snap at it and realize that somebody has to admit some things, in order to smooth everything over again. It makes me wanna go back and say to my parents, "Hey, I'm your daughter, and I'm back. Let's have a dinner together sometime, like when I was little."

Sniff, sad stuff.

Let's talk about happier stuff that make me wanna go back.

Oh. My. God. FRIENDS!!!

Yeah, it's about friends again. But this time it's about the happy things we did together. Especially for my school clubs, I miss doing things together with you guys. I miss the warm and cheery atmosphere, doesn't matter if our conversation contains tear-jerking things in it, you are the ones who made me smile on those hard times. Not intended to rhyme, really, but that's how it was. It's kinda sad that some of you will be graduating once I got back, but whatever, friends are forever.

"Friends are forever" doesn't sound promising, I know, but I actually maintained a close relationship with my middle-school friend who went to an Islamic boarding school where Facebook and texting are not permitted. There ya go. I'm not your typical "besties 4 evaaah" kinda girl, if I say I wanna remain close with you, then I will do it, without staining it with nonsensical "where you go, I go, and if we can't go together, I will forget about you forever".

By the way, the "where you go, I go" thing up over there is what happened with many teens nowadays, in case you didn't know.

Things that make me don't want to go back

Host family. It's like a... family, you know. Ah, whatever, I'm not gonna waste my time explaining this. If you wanna know how it feels, go ahead and become an exchange student! :D

What I can say is that, having a family is nice. Regardless of your (and probably my) teen drama, it is nice to have a family. Imagine if you have twice as much, how nice would it be? Yeah, twice as nice! And I mentioned that they told me I'm always welcome, right? It just feels so nice, like that.

My (new) friends. You know, on the mid-year kinda time, you feel like you have known them a little bit better than before. When you first came here you were overwhelmed with even the simplest stuff, all the time, 24/7. And these friends are the ones who constantly helps you. And now that you've stayed with them a little bit longer, you feel like you know them better, but not enough yet. You wanna spend more, and more, and more of your time with them, to know them even better. But you know that you can't.

Well, physically, that is. The Internet is powerful to maintain friendship, you know. But still.

International friends. I know befriending Americans is basically "international", too, but what I mean here is befriending other exchange students. They come from a lot of countries scattered around the world, and stayed together with you in a strange place. They are the ones who understands what you're going through, much more than anyone else. They are so precious to me, I don't wanna leave and say goodbye to them. I want us to stay like this, in our little area group, doing group activities together, talking about nonsense, and playing games together.

I just don't wanna leave this new, strange world yet.

Fortunately...

I still have time. Like I said, I'm on the middle of the year. I still have time to do things that make me don't wanna go back, and I still have time to get over things that make me wanna go back right now. So it's okay. Everything is okay, and under control.

My two worlds will never merge, I know, but to all of you I can say this:

"Let's meet again sometime."

Snow Day!

Yesterday, my school was closed due to the slippery ice on school and roads to school, so it was too dangerous for cars and school buses to come. School closing like this is called the "snow day", even though there weren't even trace of snow dust on the ground.

But today, as I lied on my bed half asleep this morning, I heard the family's phone rang. My dad answered it, and soon enough he shouted, "No school again today, Hannah! No school again today, Laras!"

As much as I have been hoping for real snow-day, I thought it was just slippery ice again, so I got up to do my prayer and went back to sleep again. But when I woke up at eight, and opened my room's window blind, the ground below was white. Branches were heavy with snow, and the garage roof I could see from my room was also covered with a white coating. Finally, the real snow day!

What a beautiful sight~

Snow day selfie! lol

Thank you YES Program for showing me snow. Well it's not exactly like that but yeah...

Took the gloves off for trying to touch snow by bare hands. I couldn't feel my hands...

First snow angel! Hahaha

My host dad took the dog outside

Snowy Dog!

Sisters + dog photo

So, yeah, snow day was awesome! I really want to try eating snow with maple syrup, Hannah said if we pour maple syrup onto snow it will become like really sweet candy. I'm surprised how people won't drink rain while they agree that eating snow is okay, but oh well I'll try it anyway.

Oh, by the way the only thick snow I've ever seen in my life before this was when I played the Harvest Moon game. The game is basically about the player getting a farm to tend, and there are four different seasons in the game: spring, summer, fall, winter. As a child born in a tropical country, that game got me thinking "someday I'll go out from this country to see snow on winter".

Nailed it.

Journey of an Exchange Student... in Wooster!

Wooster School

When I first received a letter stating information about my host family, it said that I was gonna go to the same school with my host sister's, Hannah (she was an exchange student in Malaysia last year, check her blog here!). But when I arrived in here, my host family told me that the school can't accept me because of a certain internal reason. So yeah, if you think that every school will just accept exchange students without thinking twice, you're wrong. It's never gonna be that easy, dude.

So my host family struggled to find other schools that is reachable from our neighborhood. I think my host dad heard "Wooster School" advertisement in a local radio, so we tried to find this Wooster School thing on the net. We were finally able to contact the school, arranged a meeting, and then we went there on a Sunday afternoon, and they agreed to accept me as an exchange student.

By the way, the school I was planned to go to is a public school, while Wooster is a private school. I have NEVER, ever went to any private school in Indonesia (except my kindergarten school, since we don't have public kindergartens) because private schools are expensive. And one thing, I originally disliked private school students. Yep, I disliked them so much (it's not that I hated them, I just disliked them so much. I'm not sure what's the difference though, it's just that "hate" sounds more terrifying than dislike). The main reason why I "disliked" them so much is because they are usually snobby, and annoying, and they use their parents' money like it's no big deal (which in most cases, that's kinda true for them, since their parents are rich). So when I got into Wooster School, even though I was happy I can be enrolled in, like, a school that would accept me, I was a bit scared about how the students will treat me and stuff like that. Since I'm poor, I was pretty sure I wouldn't understand a single bit about what they will be talking about in front of me. Like, new car for their *insert age here*-th birthday? New Iphone 6s? 8s? 10s? God, it's not something I'd ever ask my parents for! And of course, not something I'd bother thinking about.

But then, times went by. It went by so quickly it's almost terrifying, but anyway, Wooster students seem to accept me, or at least most of them, I guess. I have began to develop tolerance for rich-people-like activities too (LOL no I know you guys don't mean to be snobby, but sometimes I'm just too poor to understand what you're talking about...), and even some of them are really interested with me and my culture. It feels so heartwarming after all the mess I went through to get into Wooster (like, shocked  kinda feeling when my family said "that first school we registered you into couldn't accept you"). Besides, not all of the students are THAT rich, too. Many of them got in with a financial aid from the school, and many of them also seems to keep their so-called "old, slow laptop" even though they could probably ask their parents to buy a new one. I really appreciate that, you know, because sometimes when you're a teenager and your parents are so rich you totally don't bother thinking about money, but many Wooster students are not like that. Makes me happy to see you guys keeping your old, slow laptops.

Anyway, I really want to go into an art college, so I decided to take Art Intensive as my after school activity. These are some of the photos from my activities in Wooster, including my Art Intensive photos.

Pretty preview of the school.

Me and Emma, my friend, on Halloween. Yes we don't really like too much costumes...

This was from my first time seeing snow. It was only a small hail, so you can't really see the snowflakes falling, but me, my classmates, and my teacher ran from the 3rd floor to outside just for me to see the snow. I was really happy.

From my stop-motion animation class.

Our animation title: The Flower!

The Fall Art Intensive class at the station before going to the Museum of Modern Art in New York City.

Sneak peek of the museum.

Here, the real Starry Night painting!

On the way back to Southeast. Tired, tired...

Yeah, my school friends are really nice and fun. Be careful of stereotyping in ANY form; just because you see a group of snobby private high students, don't think all private school students are like that!

What is this "exchange student" thing about?

People often think being an exchange student feels just like an immigrant student moving out of his/her country, or just like an international student being enrolled in a school abroad. Here's the fact: NOPE! I know an international student also has to have the ability of adapting to new situations, new teaching language at school, and sometimes to a whole different culture. However, an exchange student bears much more responsibilities; are we being a good example of our nation's people? Are we doing good on our assignments? Have we set a good example of a student? Do we behave well according to our host family? And the most important thing, did the message of the whole exchange student thing reach the people surrounding you? 

As our exchange program organization, AFS has to make sure things work well, especially when it comes down to the message we carry as exchange students. Therefore, AFS has a special week called International Education Week (IEW), this year on November 8th through November 17th. All exchange students with scholarship have to do at least one presentation about his/her country, and for exchange students without scholarship it's optional to have a presentation.

As a result, the AFS - EZ Pass Area Team (New York Area) decided to have a big presentation event in Hastings-on-Hudson Library, on November 17th. The plan is to have a sleepover on Saturday at our volunteer's house in Hastings-on-Hudson, Mr. Tony Mayer, whose family is also a host family for our fellow exchange student Katya. For me, this plan changed a little bit though, because I had a presentation at Yonkers Early College High School on Friday, November 15th, together with Katya from Ukraine and Tarik from Bosnia. Since we were gonna have a sleepover anyway, I told my school I'm not gonna attend the school on Friday, and I went to Mr. Tony's house on Thursday night after school. Tarik was also having an earlier sleepover there, so we practiced our presentations the night before.

The library we used for presentation.

Right before the presentation.

"Everybody has to take selfies every now and then, especially before the important presentation."

Left to right: Katya, me, Tarik. Look at my fabulous saucers! 

On the Q&A session, I gave out Kipas Batik (batik fan, a kind of fan with traditional batik motives) to people who asks questions. Too bad after Tarik recorded my presentation with my camera, it ran out of battery so there is no more photos in my camera on this presentation.

After the presentation ended, Mr. Tony told me that I got an A on delivering the message of the presentation. I was really glad to hear that, of course, because I was sooooo nervous and my voice pitch lowered so much out of nervousness I actually sounded like a little boy.

Anyway in this post I'm just gonna skip things that aren't presentation-like, I'll mention other things we did on the sleepover on another post later. So, on Sunday morning, we all went to the Hastings-on-Hudson Library. I was told to go first on the presentation since "your presentation was really good so if you go first other students will get fired up too", they said. I was okay with that (actually I was really nervous about going first but at that point I was like oh-well-whatever), and so I did went up first.

My presentation, Say Hello to Indonesia!

This is Kantaro and Taku's presentation from Japan.

Taku (left) and Kantaro (right) simulating Judo, a Japanese martial art.

Katya from Ukraine again!

Rachel from China!

There are many more presentation but oh let's just skip to this nice group photo of exchange students.

Another group photo!

Right to left: Katya (Ukraine), Aylin (German), Franzi (German), Rodrigo (Paraguay)

Mikel (Spain) and Franzi (German)

Franzi and me. LOL I know I look THAT short beside her...

Kantaro (Japan) and Franzi (German)

Cristina (Spain), Franzi (German), and Mikel (Spain)

Anyway, only Kantaro and Taku used their own laptop. All other exchange students were using my laptop for their presentations. As my laptop has Kubuntu OS (it's a Linux-based OS, I've been using it because it's a free OS, you don't have to pay to use it legally) for some people it's confusing to use my laptop, so even though my own presentation had ended I constantly came up to help those who needed help using my laptop. In fact, I kinda felt bad for other students since my laptop is dull and slow and it has a non-Windows OS. Not that I regret not using Windows but well you know what I mean lol. On Sema's presentation about Turkey, I was helping her with the sound, and suddenly Mr. Tony said to the audience, "We would like to thank Larasati for helping other students with technical problems," and surprisingly the audience clapped their hands. I was really happy, I thought it was a given anyway because it's my laptop so I should know how to do what, and so I should be the one who jumps up and help. At the end of the presentation, Mr. Tony mentioned it again to me, "We really didn't expect YOU to be the one who helps everyone. Thank you so much, we really appreciate that."

My answer to that was simple, "Well it was my laptop, and I think since we all are exchange students, of course we would help each other."

And yes I learned to help each other so much in Indonesia. Teamwork is everything!

Well, see? We get so much more than just adapting to new culture. We are learning how to be a good example of our nation's people, while staying to be ourselves. We learn not only the culture of the country we are staying in, but also the cultures of our exchange student friends. And on top of that, we relearn about our own culture by presenting it to people around us.

What are you waiting for? Type "AFS" in Google and apply to be an exchange student!!!

Brewster Village Festival!

At the beginning of fall (or probably the end of summer, I forgot) there was a bazaar in Brewster Village where I live. I think it was to celebrate Brewster Village's birthday? I forgot (again, LOL, I really shouldn't pile up my photos until December), but it was really fun. There were dance performances, people selling stuff, and my favorite: ice cream truck.

I think this was tap dancing. The dancers are friends to my host sister, Hannah.

The Bazaar! Can you spot the ice cream truck?

This was another dance. It was really cool!

As you can see, the main road was closed due to this celebration.

BBQ? Hahaha

I forgot what that building was, but people were selling stuff in front of it.

Anyway, it was a really fun celebration. I got a hot dog for lunch and the best food in the world: Ice Cream!